


Let's write a song for us and sing until we're old and grey

by supercalifragilistichespiralidoso



Series: Into Oblivion [2]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M, Major Character Injury, Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-22
Updated: 2019-03-22
Packaged: 2019-11-28 02:47:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,335
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18202487
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/supercalifragilistichespiralidoso/pseuds/supercalifragilistichespiralidoso
Summary: "at the moment Obi-Wan can settle for a mumbled me too and the appreciation of not feeling guilty for being selfish this once."





	Let's write a song for us and sing until we're old and grey

**Author's Note:**

> No beta-ed  
> English is not my native language  
> Title from Forget Me Not by The Civil Wars
> 
> (There's a word in Huttese taken from an online translator but I don't know how reliable it is)

**Let's write a song for us and sing until we're old and grey**   

 

//

 

Grievous has them separated - still on the same planet but in different directions - Obi-Wan with Cody and the rest of the 212th, Anakin with Rex and his 501st (Ahsoka benched on Coruscant for time being because she's still a padawan and has classes to attend to). 

It's hardly the first mission they're not side by side together - and again, not even on two different planets or systems, just few miles apart - or at least where Obi-Wan can't keep an eye on him - not that Anakin has needed his constant supervision for a long time now, or wanted it for that matter. 

This time feels different, though. 

It is, in a way, if he listens to the tiny voice somewhere in the back of his mind that is trying to remind him of a brief conversation with Anakin when they were still at the Temple, after a Council meeting. Three rotations ago. 

It is because they didn't find Grievous, just a horde of droids waiting for them - this means that Anakin is fighting against another horde of droids  _and_ Grievous. Not alone per se but without Obi-Wan, who has a bad feeling alright.

It is different because he hasn't heard from Anakin in a scary long time over the comlink, just over the bond and from what he senses from there, it's going badly. 

Obi-Wan hasn't noticed immediately. He's been neck-deep in separatist droids that were actively trying to put as many holes in his body as possible. Once he's succeeded at not being turned into a crocheted blanket, he's allowed himself to check on Anakin and pain has started bleeding through his shields. 

Now he refrains from contacting him over the comlink or poking him through bond, too afraid to do more than wait because the last thing he wants is for Anakin to not be completely focused on the matter at hand, especially if he's hurt. 

He makes himself busy by checking on his troops but manages to have just a few words with Cody before Anakin's shields crumble miserably and Obi-Wan, whose walls are lowered too on purpose, is blinded by the sudden, searing pain that hits him from the other side of the bond. Mind racing and heart pounding in his chest, Obi-Wan shuts himself in his own mind, blocking their connection.

He needs to calm down before attempting again at understand what is going on, he needs to regain his breathing and, above all, he has to let go of the panic that is gripping his heart. 

Obi-Wan can see Cody's mouth move but can't hear anything coming out, mind still reeling. It's not the first time that Anakin gets injured by any means - the mechanic arm a costant reminder of that - but it is indeed the first time after Obi-Wan's been completely honest with him and expressed a certain desire three days prior. 

Before guilt can swallow him alive, he almost misses the small, sharp intake of breath the over the comm and, immediately after, Anakin's voice. 

"Obi-Wan?" he asks, and his tone is even smaller and unsure. Also, he seems a bit breathless like he's been running for hours without stopping. 

"Yes. Anakin, I'm here" he answers, not letting even a tiny speck of hope to flicker inside his stomach - he could still be in danger and he's centainly hurt. 

The silence stretches on more than Obi-Wan's comfortable with. "Anakin? Are you okay?" he asks again and he hopes that at the other end his voice isn't as scared as it sounds at his own ears. When no sound comes, he touches again Anakin's mind and, though he's more prepared now, the pain there still leaves him short-winded and suddenly exhausted. 

Anakin's alive, though that doesn't mean anything, not until Obi-Wan can see him with his own two eyes safe and sound, lungs filled with air. 

"Fine" he says, and that too doesn't mean anything because Anakin could be on the brink of death and he would still claim to be fine. "Grievous's gone" he slurs, too quiet, too raspy. 

"Forget Grievous" Obi-Wan replies, wishing he could say something else, apologize, being there with him, healing him at the best of his ability, holding him - as it is, he can't do anything. "Just get back here."

To me, he doesn't say. 

 

//

 

Anakin can count the times he's been really, genuinely swallowed by happiness on just one hand - a couple involves his mom, back when he was still a slave on Tatooine, though at the time he didn't know and came to appreciate the small moments only after her death; when he's been knighted, even if the loss of half a limb kinda dulled that for him; and this glorious, heart-stopping, precious instant with Obi-Wan's mouth  _finallyfinallyfinally_  smiling against his own after not one, but two feather-light kisses that have kicked Anakin's brain into overdrive. 

He hasn't the faintest idea of how they've come to this - in a deserted corridor in front of the doors of their quarters, in each other's arms with lips tingling - because one moment Obi-Wan needs to talk to him and the next Anakin is chasing after him like a hunter to a prey. 

Not that he cares, not right now anyway. He feels as now that he's started he can't stop anymore, whatever happens, like he could be doing this for the rest of his life. 

He leans down again, touching Obi-Wan's mind at the same time to try and understand what is happening there, if his Master's brain is short-circuiting same as his own, whether his kissing ability has lived up to the expectations or if these expectations existed at all. 

A mindblowing relief at the end of the bond takes Anakin momentarily by surprise and he has to forcibly stop himself to giggle like maniacs in the kiss.

"I never thought I'd see the day" he breathes on his Master's mouth, foreheads pressed together and noses brushing against each other. Obi-Wan's right hand is still gripping his tabard whereas the left is on the back of his neck, keeping in place. As if there's the risk Anakin would rather be some other place that is not quite literally pending from the man's lips. 

"You could have said something, you know?" Obi-Wan says, and his voice has never been airier, the walls around his mind thinner. Then he moves forward again, apparently, to make a point or just because now he can - not that Anakin cares as long as he gets to be kissed like this, hands going to Obi-Wan's face to angle it so that he has better access. 

When they part, they're both panting, breathless for a while. "I could've said what exactly?" Anakin asks, having trouble to think lucidly with warm puffs hitting his cheek. " _Hey, Master, I think I'm going crazy here and it's all because of your stupid face and you in general actually, so why don't you kiss me stupid to make it better?_ " he goes on, miming his own voice and accent with a slightly whinier inflection, taking pride in the way Obi-Wan's face is bit redder than before. 

The Jedi Master shakes his head, without holding back the embarrassment, exasperation, fondness he's feeling, sharing all the that with Anakin wholeheartedly. "Going crazy, uh?" he echoes, eyebrow up, tone teasing. 

"Don't make me regret telling you, baconh" he says, rolling his eyes just for show because honestly no one would believe him with that wicked grin he must have stamped on the mouth. 

Obi-Wan draws his head back a little, definitely more successful at hiding his smile. "Do you think you can stop insulting me in your language just for this once?" 

And oh. Oh-oh. That's bad. 

Anakin's called him that for the first time when he was nineteen, fresh of Knighthood, already head over heels in love with Obi-Wan, and utterly drunk on Corellian liquor but not enough to not realize immediately his mistake - at Obi-Wan's arched eyebrows he had said that baconh means something like idiot in Huttese. Which is not - he just had to save face. 

"What?" asks Obi-Wan.

Anakin clears his throat - he can lie and continue like this, but after the latest developments it doesn't make sense and Obi-Wan's just told him that he should have acted on his feelings earlier, right? Also, he kind of wants to gauge his reaction. "It doesn't mean idiot, but sweetheart" he blurts and, true his intentions, he doesn't take his eyes off of the man in front of him. 

Obi-Wan's eyes, instead, widens so much that it's hilarious - Anakin would be admittedly laughing, if not for the tug in the stomach. "Anakin, you've been calling me sweetheart for years?" he asks, stunned, now less fond. 

Anakin winces. "Maybe?" 

 

//

 

Obi-Wan's kept the connection open for all the duration of the waiting - just him and Cody while the few others are back to the meeting point - so he's not surprised when Anakin arrives to him uncoscious, held by Captain Rex and another clone from under his arms. Somewhere at the back of his mind he registers that a lot of clones are missing. He's prepared himself for the worst-case scenario because that's how he thinks - he needs to be one step ahead and plan carefully his next move as no matter how many years and missions he's had to be amazed at Anakin's skill at taking swift decisions, he's not him and will never be. 

What he sees, though, is nothing he could have prepared for: Anakin looks like something that has been chewed and then spit out: blood is covering almost every inch of skin, coating the dark cloth of the tunic - someone must have tried to clean it up because there are pinkish smudges on his face, one that is too close to his hairline to not be something serious. 

Head wounds bleed a lot, Obi-Wan says to himself. It doesn't reassure one bit but it serves to keep the panic in check. 

Obi-Wan meet them half-way. The more he gets closer, the more Anakin's condition seems worse - he's pale (unsurprisingly with all the blood he's lost and still losing), his whole arm is broken and at his left side there's a piece of cloth, probably taken from his own vest, that even from distance looked wet and Obi-Wan's mind hopes for water. But it's not - Rex's hand, that is keeping it in place, is too red. 

The thought that Anakin is going to die strucks him right then and there. And this is all wrong, this is not how it's supposed to be because old shouldn't outlive young, master shouldn't mourn apprentice, he shouldn't be alive instead of Anakin. And it will be his fault because he let himself be convinced too easily when his gut was telling him otherwise and his decision was made. 

Cody makes him snap out of it by passing too close to his shoulder in an attempt at lying Anakin down, on the muddy earth so that if by some miracle he doesn't die due to the severity of his injuries, the he will die of infection. But that's all they have until extraction. 

Obi-Wan falls to his knees next to Anakin, hands hesitanting because he doesn't know where to start. He struggles a bit to concentrate, but, eyes closed, opens up to the Force (and tries to not think about the current faint presence of Anakin there instead of the burning, powerful one he's always been) and starts what for them is routine after two years at war. Aches and bruises are scattered throughout his body, some old some new, and he notices with relief that the cut near the temple is not that troubling, but the pain seeping from arm and ribs and flank is almost unbearable and clouds his mind. 

The area around the side wound sends flares of agony everytime Anakin takes an always slower breath, like muscles or skin or nerves are chafed by something at the movement. He needs to see it. 

Without the pressure of Rex's hand and the soaked cloth, blood has the green-light again - it's dark and pooling rapidly on the ground. They have nothing with them - maybe a couple of bacta patches but it will be like putting out a forest fire with just a bucket of water. 

Anakin's cough is cut short by a hiss of pain. 

"Hey, hey, Anakin - it's okay" Obi-Wan says, bent over him, right hand reaching his stained cheek by instict. "You're going to be fine" he continues and doesn't know if he's trying to reassure Anakin or convince himself - also he doesn't want to know why Rex and Cody, at the other side of the body, exchange a look. 

Anakin opens and closes his eyes twice before settling on something in between, like his eyelids are to heavy. His breathing is fatigued. "Guess - I wasn't - careful" he says jerkily, voice raspy and barely audible. 

The weak smile on his lips breaks Obi-Wan's heart. 

It feels like someone has just clawed a hole in the middle of his chest and all he can think about is  _nonono_ , this can't be happening again. Except this time is different - this time it's Anakin and it's not fair - they should be at home, wherever that is. 

Obi-Wan forces himself to stay calm for Anakin's sake, sending his way comforting waves. "That's hardly news, isn't it?" he whisper and it's wrong to joke like that, it's not the right time - it will never be the right time to joke about Anakin's death, he realizes, cursing all the time they've done it to lighten tension with morbid quips. 

Anakin sputters another cough-hiss and this time his eyes stay closed. 

"Anakin, hey, listen to me" Obi-Wan says, pushing the other's wet strokes of hair from his forehead for no reason at all or just to appease his atypical fidgety hands. "I'll heal you at the best I can, but we both know it's not much, so you'll have to hold on, okay?"

Anakin blinks in confirmation. 

"Okay" Obi-Wan repeats, because he has no idea of what he's going to do - he just knows that Anakin is in very bad shape and that this could be their last conversation and there are a lot of things he'd like to say to him but now it all just seems forced. He breathes deeply. "I-- I love you, you know that, right?" 

Another blink. 

  

//

 

"I want to quit" 

They're not far from the Council chamber after  _another_ meeting for  _another_ mission on  _another_ remote planet in the Outer Rim - apparentely Windu got intel on the location of Grievous' next evil scheme and The Team has been assigned the job of dismantling it. Nothing new. 

Anakin turns to look at Obi-Wan, whose shoulder are tense and expression grim. "It won't take longer than a week, I think" he says, after a quick calculation - it's not like Grievous won't be running away with his tail between his cybernetic legs the moment he spots Anakin and Obi-Wan. 

"I'm serious" the older Jedi declares. 

Confusion is what makes Anakin really looks at his former Master. His shoulder are not just tense - they're hunched like the weight of the whole galaxy is there, which is not far from truth unfortunately - and his expression is starting to bear signs of fatigue; his aura is resigned and determined and heavy at the same time. Anakin has to ask. "What do you mean?" 

Obi-Wan sighs, starts walking again towards a small alcove in the wall. There he rubs his face once and then twice and later the hand goes straight to his hair. "I don't think I can go on anymore" he confesses, voice low but clear, like he's made his choice but still doesn't want to acknowledge it for real. 

Anakin knows that's not true. Their duo works so well because they complement each other - where Anakin is reckless, Obi-Wan is cautious; the former is raw power, the latter firm resolve; hasty solutions versus calculated plans. If Obi-Wan says something, that something is the outcome of all variables and possibilities - he doesn't make decisions lightly but pondered, deliberate choices. So, right now, this phrase means he is already at point of no return. 

"Go on with what?" Anakin asks and he swears he's not being difficult on purpose - he's just trying to figure out if it's happening what he thinks and doesn't let himself hope. 

Obi-Wan stays in silence, watching him with the same intensity of Tatooine suns at peak hour. All the answers are there on his face, in his crinkled, sad eyes and pursed lips, and in the Force where his former Master turned lover has always been a sure and solid presence, while now is exhausted and troubled. And Obi-Wan never lets anyone else understand how ragged he is - in that chamber everything felt fine. 

But Anakin can't not ask this and rely on his perspective, on a deduction derived from what the other is allowing him to feel - yes, Obi-Wan's turmoil in the Force should be enough, and it is, but he needs to hear it anyway. It's too important. 

"This war will never end, not if they keep making calls like this or mixing Jedi affair with politics. And in the meanwhile good men just die. Every time I've tried to make them see this, my words have fallen on deaf ears, I've been outnumbered" Obi-Wan says, shaking his head a little, a bitter smile on his lips, a miserable gaze in his eyes. "I can't be part of that anymore."  

Yeah, Anakin can understand the sensation even too well, he feels it in his bones everytime they're on battlefield, when one of their clones - slaves! - dies, in all the scars that map across his body. It's war, that's how it is, he knows, but they were promised an end at some point. 

Let alone some of the craziest, cruelest missions the Council's come up with - the Rako Hardeen incident still replaying behind his eyelids every now and then. 

But how ironic is it that the Obi-Wan - Obi-Wan Kenobi, perfect Jedi extraordinaire - is the one telling these things practically at the door of the Council chamber when he's never missed to reprimand Anakin for the same reason? 

"What changed?" he asks.

Obi-Wan rolls his shoulders. "I've been thinking for a while" he says, keeping his eyes resolutely on Anakin's. He hesitates before: "And I have more to lose now."

All the air leaves Anakin's lungs and any coherent thought his mind - his whole body is suddenly emptied except for the heartbeat that he can feel not only in the middle of his chest (or maybe it's nonexistent right there) but everywhere - throat, ears, wrists, legs, stomach. He feels light and ridiculously happy, like he could burst any moment, so much that he has to look away because Obi-Wan's abrupt confession has taken him off-guard, and because he's looking at him like-- like Anakin's just hung the moon in the sky and it's making him uncomfortable. 

"I'm not talking about you" Obi-Wan quips but Anakin can sense that his own unbridled joy is reciprocated, albeit with more control, so he doesn't believe him for one second. 

"I've never said you were, you jumped to that conclusion" is all Anakin is able to say when he's sure that no butterfly will fly out of his mouth. 

Obi-Wan chuckles and Anakin has to follow. 

 

//

 

Anakin manages to convince Obi-Wan with just the little amount of appeal to his ingrained sense of duty without feeling utterly manipulative in the process - they have already accepted the mission which may be their greatest opportunity and it's unlike them to leave a job halfway done, isn't it? 

His perspective Master sees right through him, obviously, and doesn't think twice before reminding him that he's the one who  has developed an attachment to his former padawan, harboured feelings for him, acted on these feelings many times now and, last but not least, actually proposed to leave the Order for good, so much for duty. Which, put it like this, should invalidate Anakin's idea, but it doesn't because Jedi or not, uptight rule-abiding or not, Obi-Wan is still one the purest people he's ever met and would do anything to end the karking war. So, they agree on keep going until at least one between Grievous and Dooku is apprehended. 

They ought to leave immediately - he packs his things and boards the ship in a sort of haze. Anakin's still not completely sure what possessed Obi-Wan to finally reach the decision to resign from the Jedi Order and probably should have insisted more on getting answers (I'll do it later, he promises to himself) but how was he supposed to think straight after  _that_? He's still having trouble, truth to be told. 

Obi-Wan Kenobi is a constant surprise. He used to be a real stick-in-the-mud when Anakin was a child, all rules and no fun - kind, surely, and oh-so boring, him and his meditation - but that's probably what happens when your former Master dies in your arms and the next minute you're dropped the so-called Chosen One as padawan in your care. Missions started and, though not yet the sarcastic and more laid-back Jedi that Anakin would know very well in the future, he began to loosen up a bit, trust his padawan more and occasionally cover for him, much to the Council's chagrin (Anakin likes to think that he rubbed off on him). War brought up other sides of Obi-Wan - sadness, desperation, edginess - that Anakin could have done without. And then he knocked the wind out of him with that kiss first and the secret relationship later. 

He doesn't know what it says about himself that even after all these years Anakin still marvels at Obi-Wan's ability to impress him by being simply his adorable self - most likely that he has it very, very bad. 

And soon they will have the rest of their life together without missions, the Council breathing down their neck, pretending to not be hopelessly attached to one another as if their souls aren't intertwined. Anakin has absolutely no idea of what they're going to do when the time finally comes - he's tried to imagine his life without the Jedi before, but it's never been a real possibility, nothing to entertain his mind with, so he's never come up with a plan. They will be fine, though - of that he's sure, because it couldn't be otherwise with two of them together, right? Kenobi and Skywalker, The Team--

"Tell me, have you ever listened to a word I've said to you?"

Anakin beams, chin in hand. "Occasionally, when it doesn't interfere with other things" he says, without battling an eyelash, and his smile must get ridiculously bigger when Obi-Wan shakes his head with that look of exasperated affection that Anakin likes more than anything else. "You were going over the plan. Again. As if our plans ever worked" he adds at the end. 

Obi-Wan sighs and nods. "Let's not be caught off guard when that inevitably happens" he says, sitting next to him and if it's a bit closer than he would have done normally, well, Anakin isn't complaining.  

"You just want to make sure I know what to do" Anakin jokes - he knows that Obi-Wan trusts him, though there was a time that this certainty was not to be taken for granted. Fortunately, they are way past that. 

Obi-Wan's face is blank when he replies: "Force-knows you need it."

Anakin feels a smirk coming on. "Is this concern? Because you have more to lose now?" 

The half-groan half-laugh does wonders to Anakin's ears.  

"I knew I should have kept my mouth shut" Obi-Wan mumbles under his breath, his crisp Coruscanti accent always making everything a bit more interesting. The small smile on his lips reaches the eyes and lingers there for a handful of seconds. 

In that tiny moment, Anakin vows to spend the rest of his life trying to figure out each and every silence of the man next to him. 

"Be careful out there" says Obi-Wan. 

Anakin snorts. "When am I not?"

 

//

 

Anakin doesn't wake once between the rush to the Resolute and the dose of anethesia before surgery. Obi-Wan vaguely registers someone telling him to go clean himself up, Geneal Skywalker is in safe hands and there's nothing he could do for him anyway - he thanks them but doesn't move from his position, trying to no avail to breathe around the terror in his chest and stay calm and release the anguish and all negative feelings into the Force like he's been taught to do. His access to the Force, though, like his mind, is troubled and he gives up almost immediately because it only serves to feed his frustration and the ugly swelling pressure at throat level. 

His hands are covered in tacky blood, Anakin's blood under his nails, a bone deep weariness seeping through his aching muscles and his very soul - Obi-Wan feels like he could sleep a lifetime and the exhaustion would never leave as it's rooted in him like the Jedi Code or 'saber katas. He's coming off his adrenaline high, he knows - there's too much in his head right now to even try and sort through it, from the trap they've walked into and the separation to Anakin's last smile burned forever on the back of his eyelids. The idiot.

These last few hours are going to take years off his life, he thinks, if the intensity of the emotions hitting him is an indicator of something. And that his lack of control over them would probably cause Mace Windu an aneurysm. Taking a shuddering breath, Obi-Wan sits and waits, because there's really nothing he could do - contacting the Council far from his thoughts - except trying to contain the inner chaos of feelings behind the walls he's spent all his life to build. He may be one foot out of the Order - acknowledging and accepting his feelings for Anakin only the main points of a meditated process - but it's likely that he will remain a Jedi at heart to his dying day. 

Obi-Wan doesn't know how long he stays there, heart hammering in his chest repeatedly, painfully against the ribcage when his and Anakin's connection grows weaker and weaker, almost fading out completely for two - maybe more, maybe less - devasting minutes before stabilizing itself at a delicate, frail thread. It leaves him gasping for breath, dark clouds and noise filling in his head, his entire being, the something at the base of his throat finally bursting into a single, choked sob that shakes his body. He can't do this, he can't do it again, not after Satine and Qui-Gon, not with Anakin. If he didn't Fall back then, he would surely now. 

By the time surgery is over, they've reached the Ord Cestus medical station, where Anakin is immersed in a bacta tank, leaving Obi-Wan waiting again to watch his bloated feature, panic and anxiety not yet assuaged. 

Though Kix and the local medic have assured him that he's going to be fine in a couple of hours, Anakin still looks like a dying man - the sickly pallor of face and body made even more evident by the glass and the thick layer of liquid, left arm at an odd angle, the small cuts here and there disclosing the ghastly, much larger wound where before there was a hole in his flank, blond hair floating around his head and occasionally covering his face. He still looks troubled, the memory of his ragged breathing brought up by the mask on the mouth or the lack of strength to even talk. At least now Obi-Wan can see him, he muses ruefully, which offers just a small comfort if only because being in a bacta tank it's a good sign. 

A hand on his shoulder startles him - Cody informs him quickly that Master Windu has asked of Obi-Wan and that Admiral Yularen has managed to stall with a first report pending the one from the General, before passing to, apparently, the most urgent matter at hand, which is Obi-Wan's duty as functioning living being, a touching concern for having to break his guard. 

He's seeing Cody only now since they've boarded the ship - before that he and Rex were there when Obi-Wan has said to Anakin the he loves him. He doesn't regret it (except for the less than ideal circumstance) but it's the first time that their secret is out. If Cody has any opinion about it, he doesn't show it. 

This time Obi-Wan moves without complaints (he would trust no one else with Anakin). His next actions are mechanic - he walks to his assigned room, hoping that someone's already provided to thank who's in charge for allowing the landing and the medical rapidity, discards his blood-stained clothes in a pile on the floor, takes a much needed shower, scrubbing his hands with more energy and care than necessary, and then gets back to Anakin as soon as possible. After it's another round of waiting - in front of the bacta tank first, next to Anakin's bed second, taking comfort at the rhythmic rise and fall of his chest and at the bond growing stronger. 

Saying that his sleep is fretful would be inaccurate for one must actually sleep to have problems at it - Obi-Wan, instead, settles on something in between that does nothing to soothe his exhaustion or to indulge his wish that time passes faster. The one silver lining is that he doesn't miss Anakin's awakening. 

It lasts just a handful of minutes, most of which spent with a medic who was already checking on his patient. The yellow Twi'lek smiles happily at Anakin's progress, then pats his cheek jokingly and Obi-Wan has to obligate himself to not snap at him. When they are finally alone (Anakin still confused from the prolonged rest and maybe by the tactile medic), Obi-Wan is in over his head. 

"Obi-Wan" Anakin calls him, probably sensing his distress. His voice is still hoarse from disuse and so uncharacteristically quiet that one could miss it altogether. Furrowed brow, eyes barely open and face not yet of his normal colour, he should be the last person worrying right now. "It's okay" he says, reaching out with his robotic hand.

Pulling himself together, Obi-Wan takes it and forces down a new lump in his throat because even now things are not okay. "Our bond has never been weaker" he whispers, looking away. "I thought you were--" he trails off, voice breaking, because he can't manage himself to say it out loud, not after almost two days spent with the sole company of his dark thoughts. 

Anakin squeezes his hand at the best of his actual strength, tugging at the same time. "I'm fine" he says, and it would be better if he didn't sound so airy. "And ready to resign now" he quips, one corner of his mouth quirked upward. 

Shaking his head a bit for it's too soon to joke about it, Obi-Wan lowers his forehead against Anakin's and can finally breathe properly for the first time in days; he rests his other hand on the side of his lover's neck like an anchor and scratches the shorter hair there in a calming way, making Anakin close his eyes and murmur something unintelligible. He almost lost all this. "I love you" he says again, because at some point during the long hours in that same room, he's vowed to himself that he would have said it without the threat of death looming over them. And soon he will say it again and Anakin's reaction won't be subdued by wounds or fatigue or secrecy - at the moment Obi-Wan can settle for a mumbled  _me too_  and the appreciation of not feeling guilty for being selfish this once.


End file.
